


Show and Tell

by Grey_wonderer



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-11
Updated: 2011-09-11
Packaged: 2017-10-23 15:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grey_wonderer/pseuds/Grey_wonderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom makes a curious offer and wagering ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show and Tell

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know any of these people and this did not happen. This is a work of fiction written for fun only. GW
> 
> Written originally for FFFC group on Live Journal. Prompt: Animal or animalistic behavior

“Wanna see my trouser snake, Billy?”

“Ye mean, you’re getting’ ready to turn the one-eyed weasel loose?”

“Everyone looks so bored, thought I’d liven things up a bit by bringing out my trouser snake. What do you think, Bills? Should I share?”

“How bored do ye think they are, Dommie?" Billy yawned. "They may be too far gone for your wee slip of an asp to do much good.”

“Are you insulting my mighty python? Because, if you are then you’ll have to offer up something better.”

“You guys aren’t seriously going to compare tackle, are you?” Elijah asked.

“Five quid says mine’s longer,” Dom declared.

“I’ll go a tenner,” Billy said.

“I am not watching this,” Sean sighed.

“Well, I am. I’ve got to find out who wins.”

“See, Astin, Elwood wants a look at my trouser snake. Don’t sit there and tell me you aren’t getting all excited just thinking about getting the chance to see my snake in action.”

Sean blushed. “Whatever you do, Elijah, don’t encourage them. Do not get involved in this monkey business.”

Billy stood and stretched. “Everyone stand back. I don’t wanna put anyone’s eye out when I unleash Nessie.” He cracked his knuckles and reached for his zipper. “Back up a wee bit more, Sean. I’ll need room to stretch.”

Elijah laughed. “Whatever you have in there, it can’t be anywhere close to what I have.”

Sean groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Elijah, don’t.”

“I’ll go first, Elijah. Keep your knickers on. Then the two of you won’t even have to bother. Sean, you’re the judge. Go get something to measure it with. I’ll try to keep it from attacking anyone while you’re gone,” Dom said. “And if Orlando comes anywhere near when I’m dropping trough, you all have to keep him from falling on me and molesting me. He’s an animal and he wants me. The pretty ones always do.”

“Open the door to the hall, Sean,” Billy suggested. “I donna think there’ll be room enough for my monster in here if you don’t.”

“Stop windin’ them up, Bills. If you’ve got anything at all in there, we’ll probably need a magnifying glass to see it.”

“You’ll eat your words when my monster is lose and your wee willy runs for cover.”

“Stand back. I’m settling this once and for all,” Elijah declared. “I have a wild beast of my own.”

“Don’t be an ass, Lij,” Sean warned.

Elijah ignored Sean and proceeded to unzip his jeans and let them pool about his ankles. He lowered his boxers and revealed himself. “There! That’s my very impressive love stallion. I'll wager it's longer than anything either of you have.”

Grinning, Dom reached over and extended his hand to Billy. “Pay up.”

Frowning, Billy reached into his pocket and removed a tenner and handed it to Dom.

Elijah blinked, still standing there with his manhood on display. “What are you paying *him* for? He hasn’t revealed anything yet. We have to measure.”

Billy smiled. “He bet me that if I followed his lead, he’d have your trousers down in ten minutes.”

Sean groaned. “I told you not to get involved in this, but did you listen? No. No one ever listens to me.”

"Wanna go double or nothing, Bills? Bet you ten I can get Andy's trousers down in five minutes," Dom said.

"Anyone can do that. All ye have to do is ask him. The fecking bastards' got a cock the size of tree trunk. He shows it to everyone. That's not a wager. But I'll give you a tenner if you can get the trousers off Viggo."

"You're just keen on him," Dom sighed.

"Who isn't?"

"So this was just a bet?' Elijah frowned.

"It's not just a bet. It's a bet that I won," Dom grinned. "But don't be embarrassed. You've a very impressive tool there. If I weren't already trying to get Billy to show me some love, you'd be the one I'd fancy."

Billy looked down at Elijah's penis, turning his head to the side as if studying it. "Call me," he smiled, winking. "Dom's got no chance with me."

Elijah quickly pulled up his jeans. "I never know if either of you are serious or not," he complained.

"We're not," Dom said grinning. "Ever."

"I was," Billy objected. "Elijah, call me later." He winked again and then he and Dom left the room.

"Bastards," Elijah muttered.

"I don't have to tell you not to call him, do I?" Sean asked.

GW 04-30-2011


End file.
